Something's happening...

Its been awhile since I last logged in to blogger... My apologies...

Ive been meaning to write but didnt quite have the chance to...

Hmm, I forgot to update most that I've been working at a seafood place for almost 4 months now, part-time. Life's been a little weird... I cant say Ive enjoyed it, but it is better off than being jobless and listless... :]

Lots of thoughts in my mind... Cant really tell if its good or bad... Mostly thinking and thinking... Self examining and stuffs and re-examining what others have done, etc...

Its been a long and tedious road for me... For others, it may be smooth sailing... Obviously, smooth sailing dosent apply to all, but I suppose not many would be as 'sway' as me to encounter all sorts of funny things at various times of my lives, and mostly while Im down...

I dont know really what Im really feeling , lots of mixed feelings, lost, happy, estrangement, in control, out of control, things just keep on happening!! I dont know what to make out of it...

I wish for a more mundane life... Something more of the expected... Rather than every other day living in surprises... Im kinda tired of surprises... To be honest, surprises dont really thrill as much as before... These days, its like, oh, okay, thank you! In the past, I would be totally thrilled with good surprises, ie., Ill be all over my toes and feet, leaping here and there!

I cant remember since when I started boozing daily... I cant remember when troubles dont keep coming at me especially when I am down, broke and out... I cant remember when was the last time I really had great fun with the one I love... I cant remember when was the last time when good luck was with me, blessing me...

I get loads of admirers, to be honest... What? I am lucky? Perhaps think again... I dont really want to be with them. I just wanna be their friend. What is there in common? Nothing. Besides beer, theres nothing. I dont fancy a fairy tale, nor a love story. I just wanna chill and have friends... Which is so so so so so so hard to find...

Everyone gets to me, for a reason... Everyone approaches me for a reason... Everyone wants my number for a reason... I am getting tired of this all... Can they SEE the real me? Its funny...

Ive never been exposed to working in coffeeshop environment like now... Trust me, its not great but its not bad. It all depends on the boss you are working for... Dont expect always good manners from coffeeshoppers, they are not exactly tamed... Dont expect good conversations either coz language or age differences as well as culture differences... Its hard to tell or know exactly what they are driving at...

Anyways, in short, I think Im not suited for this place... But Im stuck...